In Which I Step Back Into the Classroom, Wearing a Jumper and Wooden Schoolbus Necklace

No, not really. But I did put on my teacher hat again this week. I reprised my role as elementary teacher this past Monday, only this time I was a Kindergarten teacher. I've never been one of those before.

And in case you are wondering, I just wore shorts, flip flops and a short sleeved top. On the other hand, this little cutie got dressed to the nines. She was so stinkin' cute.

Looking back at the week, I had to say it was good. Honestly, it wasn't what I expected because I just didn't now what to expect. Lily seemed to love it and any fears I had of her asking about  regular school and not seeming to like homeschooling are gone.

Obviously, it is so different from the classroom. For someone who taught in a classroom for 12 years, this  homeschooling gig will take a little for me to get used to. I still struggle with the doubt that somehow she's missing out on something. But I know God has called me to do this. I know that finding the balance between teaching, laundry and occupying a 2 year old will be no small feat. But I know that the opportunity to spend this time with Lily and see her grow and learn will be worth it. I know that the time our family will get to spend together despite Andy's crazy work schedule will be a blessing.

Yesterday, when I asked Lily what her favorite part of the first week of school was she said, "My teacher's smiling face." If you know my daughter at all, you will crack up at that. It totally sounds like something she would say. She is very sincere and genuine..... and a bit of a drama queen. It did make me smile.

Here's some pics of Lily's first day of Kindergarten. And yes, we went out for yogurt to celebrate the first day of school BEFORE we had lunch.

 Special First Day of Kindergarten Sprinkled Pancakes

 Our Special School "Desk" Aka: the kitchen table

 How cute is this?

 Special First Day Snack. I had way too much fun making this!

 A First Day Art Project

Henry got a special first day snack too. Can't leave this guy out the fun.

Yogurt Time

 Love this.....

 and this......

The End

Lucky 13!

As of today, I've been married for 13 years! Want a quick trip down memory lane? I thought so.
(There should be pictures for each year starting with right before we got married. But, sadly, I have no pictures on our computer from 2001. We hadn't yet bought our digital camera.)

* Yes, I know this isn't my anniversary. The computer, though, was being a big pill on my anniversary and wouldn't load the pictures. I could go on and on about how angry I got and almost threw the computer out the window; but then I would just sound insane........

This is for you, Andy. I love you.

1999/2000

Yup, I'm wearing overalls. Bold, I know. I loved those overalls!

2002

2003

2004 

Ahh..... the year I forgot to put the guard on the razor and shaved a nice diagonal  4 inch strip down the back of Andy's head 2 weeks before his sister's wedding!! Notice the super short hair. Ha! ha!

2005

Dressing up like two of our best friends for Halloween......best costumes ever!

2006

2007

One more pic for 2007. It's just that my midsection changed drastically in a matter of about 5 months.

2008
And then life got even sweeter. Lily Grace joined us. Now we had a little family!

2009

2010

2011
Then came "The Hurricane" as we like to call him here at home. Small but fiesty, he rounded out the Bauer Bunch.

2012
I couldn't ask for a better husband, better family, better life.

2013
It's never a dull moment around here and that's just the way I like it. Andy, thank you for 13 wonderful years! Aren't you glad I asked you out first????

Never Say Never

I've been mulling over this post for awhile. It's time I hit Publish.

I reread my last post The Exploding Calendar. I was not exaggerating. June was crazy. And fun. But crazy. July has not seemed to slow down at all. Hence the lack of posting. So here goes.

There's been a few changes in the Bauer house lately. This post is about two of them.

First off, I have a kindergartener! Cannot. Believe. It. How did that even happen?

Second, it was our last year at school because we are home schooling Lily next year.

Last day of Pre-K.

Lily with her teacher, Mrs. E. We love her!

Lily with Mrs. B. the Preschool director and a dear friend. She's known me since I was in Pre-K! Yup, I was crying, can you tell?

Special friends.

The last day of school was bittersweet. I was so very excited for summer. I was also so very sad to not be returning next year. I am really excited about being Lily's Kindergarten teacher next year. Yet, I'm a little overwhelmed by all the change.

"I will never home school my kids."

How many times had I uttered those words?

Several.  Many.  Lots.

Why?

Because most of my friends home school. So the subject comes up now and again.  Because over the years, as a teacher, I saw kids leave the classroom and begin home schooling.

Now, I'm home schooling Lily.

I don't know how to convey this in mere words, or how the weight of my words can fully be absorbed just by reading them from this glaring white page.

I NEVER, EVER thought I would or have ever wanted to home school.

I'm not spitting these words out in disgust or shaking my head in disbelief that I have tapped out the following with my fingers: I'm home schooling Lily. Ok, maybe I'm still in a wee bit of disbelief.

I'm quite okay with whole thing now. It was a process, though.

If you want the short version, here it is: We don't have the financial means right now to afford kindergarten in a private school. For us, public school is not an option. Our school has a wonderful Private Satellite Program- Home School. God led us to do that. So we are. The End.

If you know me at all, I'm much wordier than that. If you want the whole story with all the deets. Sit back and relax.

In all seriousness, God has taken Andy and I on a journey through this whole unexpected change of events, especially me. He's taught me a lot about faith and what peace means. He's been teaching me to trust, really trust. And as always, He's showing me how much He loves me and my family.

This post and the next (making it a Two Parter) is about our decision to home school, for this year. It's just another part of our lives that I choose to share on this blog. Right now, it's a huge part of our lives.

This post and the next is also about how God asks us to do things we may not want to do, don't feel equipped to do, or are just plain scared to do. Maybe you are going through a time in your life where God is saying, "This is not what you have planned; but it's what I have planned. Trust me. Follow me."

Just a warning: I'm going to be completely honest. Remember, they are just my feelings and mine alone. And I will probably say the following several times: I am not for or against homeschooling. I'm not for or against private school or public school for that matter. Each has their place and purpose. Just to be clear.

I've been an elementary school teacher for 12 years. I love school. Love. School.

I've wanted to be a teacher for as long as I can remember. I love everything about school. I loved getting my classroom ready for my students each year, making charts and labeling cubbies. I'm a nerd, I know. I love the whole community and little family you create within the walls of a classroom. I love the special routines, class parties, reading out loud to my students, etc. Did you count how many times I wrote love? You get the picture.

I wanted  and expected Lily to experience all of this and in a way she has. She's been in the Pre-K program at our school for 3 years. She started when she was still two because I was working full time.

A couple of things had changed in the past two years in our family, though. After Henry's birth, I stayed home full time. Andy's job changed. It is a wonderful job and one that enables me to stay home. His hours aren't what most would think ideal. He works the swing shift on the weekends. With Andy working quite a bit of overtime we were able to send Lily to Pre-K, which we thought was totally worth it.

Here's where reality kind of stinks, though. Just because we want something really badly, doesn't mean we get it. The reality of kindergarten and it's price tag was pretty clear. The old saying, "Money doesn't grow on trees" brought on a whole new meaning.

Does Andy have a crummy job or a poor paying job? No. It's a great job that gives us all the money we need to live a happy life where we really aren't wanting. No, we can't take trips to Cancun every summer or buy a brand new car. Most of my wardrobe come from Kohl's and I'm okay with that. Those things aren't necessary for a happy life.

Can we afford for me to stay home and send our daughter to a private Christian school? Not right now and I think most people would find that a stretch.

Could I go back to work? Sure. Could I make enough money to pay for daycare for Henry and school for Lily? Honestly? I don't know, maybe. Will I do that? No.

For us, right now, me being home with our kids is most important. Do I think it's wrong for moms to go back to work while their kids are really young? Well, as I mentioned before, Lily was in school at two because I was working. Enough said.

But, really, it wasn't about the money. Oh, it started off being about the money. It  most definitely was about the money. I think God just used that to get us to open our minds, which were very closed off, to something He wanted to show us.

Again, I love school. If we were rolling in the Benjamins and Lily went off to Kindergarten with her back pack and lunch box and said, "See you at 3:00, mom!", we'd all be fine. She would love her teacher and love school.  I'd miss her horribly; but life would be okay.

The school Lily is at now is amazing. Her would be Kindergarten teacher is a close friend and is a special teacher with a huge, nurturing heart. Lily would be lucky to have her. I worked at this school for 12 years. Many of those teachers are like family. This was one reason why I was so reluctant to home school. I knew what she would be missing.

As the the days drew nearer to reenrollment and then quietly passed, I knew we had to make a definite decision. Andy already knew what we needed to do, I think he was just waiting for me to accept it. The deadline for enrolling in our Home School program was fast approaching and that was what really forced me to deal with the inevitable.

It's funny now as I write this post because I've been writing it over the course of several months. This process started about six months ago. As I read over the previous paragraphs homeschooling sounds more like a death sentence!

I don't feel that way now, six months later. But I did.

Oh, I still have my moments. Like when Henry is hanging off my pant leg, whining for me, while Lily is asking me the same question 5 times in a row as I try to maneuver through a kitchen that looks like the sink threw up and gracefully trip over the laundry basket filled with unfolded clothes that's been sitting there for three days. Having gone for what feels like days of not having a quiet moment to myself I think, "And I 'm going to home school in this? This is crazy town!"

Most days I'm excited. Some days I'm terrified. I think I may have finally learned my lesson, though, of Never Say Never.

Check back for my Part Two. Coming Soon.

The Exploding Calendar

FYI: I wrote this post about a week ago but because I've been so busy..............

Because I'm OCD about my Planner/Calendar (and because I'm signing Lily up for swim lessons, Vacation Bible School, a few days at Day Camp and going on a trip soon) I've filled out my calendar for June.

Hey, June is just a week away, after all.

It looks like our calendar has exploded.

If you could have seen our calendar for May, you would probably shake your head and say, "Jen, you are too busy."

And I'd have to agree.

This time of year is busy for everyone, I know. I have to say, though, I've fallen into the Yes Trap.

Oh, we've all been there. We feel bad for someone's situation and offer to help (not always a bad thing to do, mind you), we don't want our child to miss out on the fun so we treck off to another event, or we feel obligated like "it's our duty". How about this one.... "If I don't do it, no one will."

We've all been caught in the trap. Maybe you are neck deep in it right now.

As May winds down, and my responsibilities are coming to an end, I've been breathing deep sighs of relief. Only to feel myself clenching my jaws as I look at my calendar.

Let me say this to anyone who may be reading. (And please know I'm yelling at myself here, too.)
It's okay to say no.

Try it. Right now. Say "No."

Now say it again. Okay, one more time. Doesn't it feel good?

I've had the opportunity to say no to a couple of requests this past week. Let me tell you, it felt AWESOME. I sang that last part by the way.

My June is a wee bit busy. That is mainly because our camping trip and a trip to Pennsylvania happen to fall on the same week. Our church's VBS is this month as well. What I need to remember when I look at my exploding calendar for this next month is that it is filled with fun things that I want to do rather than things I have to do.

On the flip side, this summer I am taking a vow to slow down and enjoy the moments of my summer While my kids are still small

While everything is new and their "first time"

While the days are warm and we don't have to get up for school

While the issued footwear for the summer is bare feet

Oh and I vow to say no a little more often.

Summer Fever

I'm afraid I've got the fever..... summer fever.

I'm itching for the last day of school to get here.

I didn't think I would be looking forward to this day for a few reasons; but mainly because my little girl will officially be a kindergartner in two days. I feel like that's when school really begins.

I don't want her to grow up. I want her to stay 5 forever.

Actually, though, I'm soooo ready for summer. Summer has been peeking in around our house lately. I think it's because of the warm days we've been having lately.

I think summer is going to look a little like this............

She loves to ride her bike up and down our street.

You don't have to ask this girl to pose twice.

Prince Charming and his lady friends also took a nice topless ride around the block. Very inappropriate if you ask me!

Fun at the pool with friends

I love it that both my kids love the water.

I love the expression on both their faces.

Yup! I think summer has landed.

When Faced With A Crisis, Cover Your Eyes and Slowly Back Away.

This is horrible advice. Please don't follow it. Please don't be like me.

I feel like I stay pretty calm in crazy situations. I don't flail around and freak out. In fact, I usually get quieter and calmer as the situation escalates. Usually.

The other day, though, I got a different view of myself. Now I know for sure, as if I even had a desire to do so, that I wasn't meant to be a nurse, a rescue worker of any kind, someone who deals with life and death situations, or that I should ever meet a mugger in a dark alley.

I learned that when faced with a fearful situation I just cover my eyes and slowly back away. Yup. I'm  a big time whimp. I think my husband already knew that, actually.

The hubs and I went for a day date. We do those a lot since he works the swing shift. We decided to go for a hike at a beautiful park in our town.

It was such a nice hike, good weather, great conversation. We saw a plethora of wildlife, two woodpeckers, deer, some wild turkeys, birds, even a little harmless garter snake. We stopped by the small lake in the park and had a very nice picnic lunch.

We headed back and was making our way down the trail, through the shady forest. The light was filtering in through the trees and we had just spotted another woodpecker looking for his lunch in a tree trunk.

We were talking and laughing and in a second's time I looked down and froze. Not a foot away from me was a snake. Not a little harmless garter snake. An honest to goodness "you're supposed to be behind glass" snake. I didn't know, until a few minutes later, that it was rattle snake.

Did I say, "Hon, look out!"? No.

Or, "Holy cow, that's a snake!" Nope.

Or maybe just, "Ahhhh!!!" Not a bit.

I made a bit of a muffled screech, covered my eyes and slowly back up the trail.

Thankfully, Andy saw the snake right away and, of course, stayed to have a looksy and take a picture. I high-tailed it about twenty feet back up the trail and peeked from behind a tree. Honestly, I did.

The rattler didn't move. It just stayed there. Andy threw some sticks at it to get it to move along. It coiled up and rattled it's menacing rattles. (I only heard this part because I was too far away to actually see anything.)

It finally moved and  we gingerly made our way down the path.

Is this how I react in a crisis?

I hope if a loved one was in real danger I would be quicker on my feet and little braver.

At the end of the day, the experience made for a great story and just confirmed what I always knew to be true. I'm a big scaredy cat!

Weight Loss Update

So, it's been awhile since I've done a weight loss update.

In a nutshell: I'm still trying to lose weight and I have.

It's been 3  1/2 months since I started my quest. Here are some hard facts. I know that's what I want to hear about first when I read weight loss stories. I want the deets!

As of this morning I've lost 14 pounds.
I'm down a size. (Almost. I think a few more pounds will clinch it.)
I've lost inches all around. Though I don't have those facts handy.

But more than the numbers, there's two things that mean more to me than what I see on the scale. And the fact that I just wrote that last sentence and meant it is a story in itself. The numbers were getting me down; but that's another story for another time.

#1 I now fit back into my BH clothes. That's Before Henry. My goal is to fit into my BL clothes. You got it, Before Lily. You're smart!

#2 I don't feel crappy anymore. I feel so much better. My stomach isn't in knots anymore. I don't feel bloated and just all around yucky.

Here's a few things I've learned about myself that I kinda knew but have become very clear in this little journey of mine.

#1  I love bread. Love. Bread.
#2  I eat when I'm stressed. Not so much the "I'm busy, in a hurry stressed" rather the "We had an argument or I feel like a bad mom so I'm just going to eat half a bag of tator tots stressed".
#3  If I  blow it early in the day with my eating, I tend to let it go all down hill the rest of the day. I'm working on that one.
#4  I snack tooooo much. I'm a grazer for sure.
#5  I'm way too hard on myself and do way too much negative self talk. If I heard someone talk to another person the way I talk to myself in the mirror at times, I'd be horrified. I'd probably walk up to that person and just poke 'em in the eye. Well, maybe not. But I would want to. I'm really working on this last one.

Now here's the list of new things I've learned about myself, things that surprised me.

#1  I like to exercise. Who knew?
#2  It was much easier losing weight 7 years ago before I had kids than it is now. It's just plain harder for me.
#3  My reasons for losing the weight this time around, as opposed to seven years ago, are so different. Except for that one little reason of wanting to look good in a pair of skinny jeans!!
#4  Without God and the proper perspective on weight loss, it just won't happen for me this time around. And I plan on this time around being the last.
#5  I can't eat whatever I want anymore!! Boo! Hiss! Ah....getting older.

So, to wrap this up. I'm a little over half way to my goal. When I get to my goal, I may want to keep going. I'm not sure. I want to keep my goal realistic, though. I don't want to set myself up for failure; but I want to push myself at the same time. We shall see.

Andy and I keep a chart tracking our weight loss on our bathroom wall. He's doing it with me which makes this whole journey possible. It would have been really hard to do it without him. Tomorrow is my "weigh-in" day which means this is the end of my week.

I like to give myself little things to work on each week. It helps to motivate me. I've been a little slack on the exercise department for many reasons. The heat and being out several nights this week have been partly to blame. Next week my goal is to get back to my normal exercise routine. Hopefully it will cool down a bit.

So here's to continuing on the journey and not blowing it tomorrow. It is Cinco de Mayo afterall.