The End Is Just The Beginning: The Story of Henry Part 7

* If you didn't catch my last post, you can read it here. The Story Of Henry Part 6 It had a lot of medical info if you're interested in that kind of stuff.

It's kind of strange writing about the end of Henry's birth story and our  NICU adventure when I've just brushed his teeth, and he grabs my hand and says, "Come on, Mom. Let's play!"

Yup, talking in full sentences and being just a regular 2 year old.

The baby, who I barely got to touch when he was born, now hangs on me most of the day and smothers me with wet kisses. Love those wet kisses.

I'm writing this final installment, knowing that Henry's story ended well. At the time, though,  Andy and I didn't know how things would turn out.We didn't know if Henry would have feeding problems or speech and motor delays. These were all the things that preemies suffer from. We knew he was improving; but we still didn't know how much longer we would be living what we called our Bizarro Life. Life around us was moving forward; yet we were standing still.

The first week of August brought more visitors and an uexpected bend in the road.

Andy had to go back to work during this time; but we also took some time out for fun. We still had another child to take care of. Lily needed us, too. Henry wasn't critical and I really needed to spend time with my girl and get her ready for preschool.

Going to Howarth Park with Papa.

Spending some quality time with Dad.

More visitors: Aunt Clare and Auntie Anna

Every time I came in, I got to feed him, change him and take his temp.

 No more feeding tube!! Woo Hoo!

Why do I look so happy? It's August 5th and we have received the best news.
Henry can come home!!

On August 3rd, Henry reached another one of his milestones: At 37 days old he had reached his 5 pound mark!!! He was 5 pounds, 1/2 ounce. After this milestone, things moved along quickly. He was doing great with feedings, had been maintaining his own temperature for awhile, his A's and B's were great and now he was big enough to go home.

His sweet nurses made him a cake and brought it in to celebrate reaching his 5 pound milestone.

Now he just had to pass his car seat test and he was good to go.

So, on August 5th (our 11th wedding anniversary), we got the official green light. He was coming home the next day. It was one of the best anniversaries we've ever had.

After 39 days in the hospital, at just over 5 pounds, Henry Christopher was coming home to stay.

So here are the stats for me:

• 4 weeks on bedrest (not so bad compared to other friends of mine). 
• 3 weeks in the hospital
• 2nd c-section
• 5 weeks of living in Roseville
• 2 months from when our adventure began to when Henry could come home.

And for Henry:

• Born 10 weeks early
• Started at 3 pounds, 10 ounces. 
• Came home at just over 5 pounds.
• One heart murmur
• One enlarged kidney. (The heart murmur and enlarged kidney all took care of themselves. By his due date, the kidney issue had resolved itself.)

This leg in our journey was over; but the story of Henry's life was just beginning. His birth had changed our family forever. We had gone through emergency surgery, a job change, having to be separated from Lily, my mom suffering from a stroke, being 2 hours away from our family and friends, and not knowing from one day to the next what was in store. I was not sure how we had endured the last 2 months; but our family was complete now. August 6th, 2011, was such the sweetest day.

 Hanging out in Henry's room, waiting for the car seat test.

 See those monitors behind me? I was glad to leave those behind for good and  a little scared. I wouldn't be able to depend on them anymore.

 The bags under my eyes tell a story! I do like this picture because this was my last time to feed Henry in the hospital.

 My poor, sweet Andy. I see the exhaustion in his face. Best husband ever!

 Ready to go home.

 Last check-up by the Doc.

 Um... he looks so ridiculously small here. Amazing.

 Last walk down this hallway.............

Though reliving this experience through writing my blog posts have been hard and emotional at times, it's been such a great time for me to talk to God and thank Him again for walking me through this time in my life. While life went on and we've gone through all the normal phases that you go through with children: crawling, walking, talking, terrible twos (still going through that, by the way), and now potty training, I am constantly reminded of the miracle that God let us experience. It was a gift, truly.

And here is where I get emotional, where my chest tightens, and the tears cannot be stopped. Why? Because God taught me so much and showed me in such a real and undeniable way how much He loves me, loves Andy, loves Lily, loves Henry. He showed me that our lives are not in vain; they have a purpose. They have real worth and value. We are here to glorify God. Pretty simple; but pretty powerful.

Others have not had to experience what I've had; but so many have had to endure so much more. They've felt deeper pain and have experienced loss that I cannot fathom. It is not lost on me how lucky we are. But this is my story. I truly believe God wants us to share our stories, traumatic or not!! It will touch someone, encourage someone. Someone needs to hear it.

I hope Henry's story encourages whoever reads this. I know my kids will read this someday. These words I've written are my stones of rememberance, for me and for my family.

 And then we came home.

 The Grandmas are enamored.

 Hanging out with Grandpa.

 Just a little perspective.

 So good to be home.

What I've learned about me, about God.

I'm so incredibly lucky to have the husband I have. Lucky. Blessed. You have no idea. He made our life work when I could do nothing. Some days, I felt like I was literally falling apart. He held me up. Andy is such an unselfish person. He's strong and sacrificial. I didn't even touch the iceberg of all that Andy went through, gave up, and endured on our adventure. He was the rock when I was weak. He went through a stressful job change and the stress of keeping our family together. Words are just not enough.

God is good. I can't say that enough. Through the scary, bad, painful, happy and amazing parts of life, He never changes. He can never do "more good" or be "less good". It's just who He is. He wants to bring things into our lives for our good.

God wanted more of me. I was (and am working on this) a lazy Christian. I'm just going to be honest. My prayer life was sporadic, my quiet time  not much to speak of (I'm still working on these!!), my priorities were out.....of....whack. I had been letting petty thoughts, insecurities, and feelings run my life. I was not finding my value in God. My focus, most of the time, was not on Him.I know this is not the only reason why God turned our lives upside down; but I know it is one reason. He wanted desperately to get my attention. He got it.

I've learned it's okay to be alone sometimes. When I am lonely, He wants me to turn to Him.  I am learning this right now, actually!! When I am at my end, that's when I need Him most. That's when He begins to speak to me and I can begin to hear Him over all the other distractions in my life. If I found my contentment in others all the time, I would never need Him. I believe God really missed me sometimes. 

I saw, I believe, just a sliver of a glimpse of God's glory, His power. We talk about Him being holy and good and great; but we have no idea. Sometimes, we forget that He is the God of Moses, who shook Mt. Sinai with his fire and smoke. If we were to but truly see Him we would fall flat on our faces.

Life is a miracle. Every life. To see a baby before it's supposed to be out of the womb. To see Henry's ultra thin skin and skinny limbs. To watch his heart beat and physically see it move up and down on his chest, working so hard for each breath. To see a baby before it's "done". To be able to witness first hand what most people don't see because the fetus is still growing in the womb is nothing short of a miracle. I felt, that in some, small, minute way, I'd seen the power of God. We are made in His image and here was His creation, not supposed to be born yet, miraculously growing. Still being knit together. So intricate, so strong, so delicate, so complicated, so beautiful. Such a masterpiece that could only be made by a Creator. What a privelege to be able to witness that.

I feel honored to be Henry's mom, to be Lily's mom, to be Andy's wife. I'm thankful for what I have. I'm not always thankful. I'm not perfect. Due to several issues, I think Henry is the last baby I will be able to carry. I'm thankful for what God gave me and I don't wish for things to be different or better or easier. Things are just as they are supposed to be.

Here's a few more special pictures and some pictures of us getting into our groove and figuring what our new normal is. These pictures make me smile.

Now I  had to get up to do all the middle of the night feedings.

 Being able to dress him up in all his preemie (and eventually newborn) clothes was something I had been looking forward to doing.

 Okay, H looks a little creepy here because he has zero neck muscle control; 

but I love this picture because of Lily's expression.

 She was so thrilled to touch and kiss him.

 She was and still is the perfect big sister. I love this girl!

 First bath at home.

Meeting Jackson

 Meeting Great Grandma Joyce

I watch Lily and Henry from my living room window, as I write this final post of Henry's birth story, his amazing entry into this life. They are running back and forth across our lawn, their blonde hair bobbing up and down, as their muscles move them forward at such a tremendous speed. They are laughing and shouting and playing. My heart is not just full, it aches with joy.

My story ended well with Henry. He is doing great. Besides his petite size, you'd never know he was a preemie. We did have issues with him keeping his food down for several months. I had to keep him away from crowds for several months because he would be prone to getting sick with his immature respiratory system. I was still nervous. He stayed healthy and I am so thankful for that.

He is my little miracle and always will be. But now I see that my life is full of miracles. All around me. Every day. I just have to open my eyes and see what God is doing all the time. This experience was defining in my life; but God is not done with me yet. I hope there are more amazing God experiences in my life. I also know there is more joy and sorrow in this life; but my prayer is that what God taught me will carry me through the valley and mountains that are sure to come.

I have a very ordinary life. Yes, we had a couple of years of extraordinary to be sure. There is no denying that. Our life now is about as normal as it gets. So maybe the biggest lesson I've learned so far, since I've had Henry is that God uses ordinary, lazy, weak people to show His extraordinary power. That is what makes my life special and full of meaning.

 Some Firsts:

 

First Christmas

 First Birthday