Excuse my background, by the way. I'm fiddling around with things and trying to change some things up. I don't have it the way I want it yet, at all.
I sit to write.
I look around at the desk in our livingroom. I see all the things surrounding my computer. 3x5 cards, empty ice tea cup, a chapter book I was reading to Lil, cereal bowl (with milk still in it), an overflowing in box, sticky notes, a recipe box with no recipe cards inside, pens, 2 opened packages of floss (what??? why in the world??), Nyquill, a first math book, elmer's glue, a fraying Santa Rosa Activities Guide magazine that is currently being used as a mouse pad and the sticky wand to a bottle of bubbles.
My unorganized, chaotic desk actually mirrors the last month and a half of life in Casa de Bauer. In other words, my summer break so far. I knew the first month of summer would be a little busy. But this summer has me sitting back, taking a deep breath and saying, "Can I start vacation now, please?" Just yesterday, Andy finally put the suitcases back in the garage.
After 2 back to back camping trips for the family, I packed Lily and I up for a 10 day trip to Colorado. My niece was getting married in the beautiful Rockies. I literally spent two weeks doing laundry, folding clothes and immediately packing them back into the suitcases. Phew!!
The trip was fun. It was a great time with family I don't get to see often; but it was a long time to be away from home and the other half of my little family.
The next week was Henry's 3rd birthday and birthday party. The day of his birthday, we left for Family Camp for 5 days. Family Camp was amazing!! (It's actually my favorite part of our whole year.) It did produce 3 things, though: More laundry, Lily contracting pink eye and the FLU.
Now hold on to your britches, because this is where things get interesting. For the next week the stomach flu systematically attacked each member of our family, ending with me (who happened to get it the worse!). My poor sweet Henry threw up every 15 minutes for 3 hours in the middle of the night! My awesome mother- in- law went to Kaiser in the middle of the night to pick up anti-nauseau medicine for him because Andy was at work and I desperately needed help!
I did more laundry than I care to recall that night.
A day after I emerged from flu hell, we were off to Tiburon for a rehearsal dinner for another wedding, Andy's cousin. We had barely put down the barf bucket and we were headed into a weekend of fun (but exhausting) family celebrating. (The flu did not keep me from hitting the dance floor!)
The day I was sick, Andy lovingly decided to build me new shelves above our washer and dryer. Long story short: drilled a hole through a wire, no more outlet, fridge had no power. There is now a hole in the garage wall above the shelf, a hole in the kitchen wall, and all our food is in our fridge in the garage.
Yesterday, our washing machine decided to stop working right after I loaded half our towels into it and it filled up with water. Towels in water, just sitting there.
Today we took our 12 year old dog, Jackson, to the vet. He's been sick and I knew he wouldn't be here this time next year. I thought he had months, though. Our vet said it was more likes weeks.
I cried all day. I'm still crying.
I just found out one of our dear friends received some really, really devastating news . My heart is breaking for my friend.
What's going to happen next? What will tomorrow bring?
And since my last few weeks have taken me for a ride and I just can't seem to stop, I didn't do any of the things on my to-do list today. I fed my kids dinner in the shopping cart while I shopped for groceries at 5:30 at night (on a Friday! crazy!). I ate half a box of chocolate covered macadamias for dinner and washed it down with a Pepsi. That basket of laundry which has been sneering at me for the last 4 days will be left untouched for another day.
Sometimes, you have to take it one day at a time, even one hour at a time. You have to throw your plans out the window and say, "We'll just try this again tomorrow."
I've been memorizing these verses this month: I Corinthians 12:9-10 But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness......For when I am weak, then I am strong."
Lord, I am tired. Just plain tired. And sad. My summer started off so great and those memories and moments are still precious to me. Things lately have been hard. I will take your words and hold them tight. They will not be hollow words to me; but Truth. Lord, I am weak; but you are all the strength I need. Thank you.
