A New Normal

It's Day 2 of Andy's field training. He's been on duty for 41 minutes. And I'm not worried.

I thought I would be more worried. I am thankful for this.

Now, ask me how I feel when something really dangerous happens or he's on patrol alone. Fortunately, he won't be on his own for 5 months.

The emotion I'm feeling is lonely. Lily's asleep and Andy's gone and I have to go to bed alone. I hate going to bed alone. It won't always be this way. Just 4 nights a week for several weeks. In reality it will probably be that way for months, or more. And I need to find a way to get used to it.

I'm still trying to wrap my mind around the fact that this is my life now. It's not going to change. Hearing Andy say, "I drew my gun twice last night." is going to be normal conversation for us. It's like a weird other life. Like when Elaine befriended the Bizarro Jerry, George and Kramer.

So what will I do tonight? Finish watching Bones, fold some laundry, do some lesson plans, and pray. Pray for Andy to make wise choices, for God to give him discernment, for me to find joy in the silence and for Andy to come home safely.